Your Mother Warned You There'd Be Days Like These
by N.S.Bennett
Summary: Just another Les Mis university AU Cosette/Marius, Eponine/Combeferre, Enjolras/Grantaire, Courfeyrac/OC, everyone friendship - Let the hilarity ensue!


"Come on Eponine." Cosette said, "You have to go to the meeting. You're a paying member of the group, you have to go."

"Don't wanna." Eponine mumbled into her pillow. "Had long lecture."

"Come on 'Ponine. Combeferre's waiting."

"Combeferre's here?" Eponine asked before shooting out of bed and rushing to fix her hair and touch up her eyeliner before applying another layer of deodorant. "Let's go." She smiled and Cosette couldn't help laughing as they left their dorm room and headed down the corridor. True to Cosette's word, Combeferre was sitting on the low wall outside their dorm building, texting on his mobile. When he saw Eponine he nearly fell over the wall he stood up so fast. She laughed and pressed a light kiss to his lips and entwined her fingers with his as the three of them began walking to the café where the Amnesty International meeting was taking place.

When they arrived, all their friends were already there and Cosette walked over to the armchair Marius was sitting in and sat on his lap. Eponine giggled and allowed Combeferre to pull her onto his lap. Everyone was pretty much set in their positions – Joly, Bossuet and Musichetta on one sofa; Grantaire, Courfeyrac and Jehan on the other sofa; Marius and Cosette in one armchair; Combeferre and Eponine in another and Feuilly in the third armchair. Enjolras usually stood during meetings as he ran the operation and gave speeches. The meeting that day was focussed on raising awareness of the women that were in Syria and ways that they could bring the university's attention to the situation. Halfway through, Courfeyrac stood up and they all looked at him.

"I've got to go, I've got a lecture in ten minutes and if I miss it, I'll fail this unit." He announced and with an all knowing nod, Enjolras dismissed him. Once he was gone, he turned to look at Eponine.

"OK, you were right, this is getting weird."

"I know." She answered.

"What's going on?" Marius asked, looking between them both.

"Haven't you noticed?" Bahorel asked, "Courfeyrac hasn't been with a girl for four months."

"No one-night stands." Combeferre interjected.

"He doesn't even flirt with girls in the corridors anymore." Joly added.

"When I asked him about it the other day, he said that he wasn't interested and he wanted to focus on his studies this year." Eponine concluded.

"OK that is weird." Grantaire said.

"So what are we gonna do?" Marius asked.

"We need a plan." Cosette said. "If we're going to get the old Courfeyrac back, we need a plan and several backups."

"OK," Enjolras said, sitting down on the floor in front of the coffee table, pulling his laptop to him and opening up a Word document, "give me your ideas."

Two hours and several coffees later and they had set up a dating website profile for Courfeyrac and it already had seven views. "I'd consider that a job well done." Eponine said with a smile.

* * *

**Courfeyrac: **Ep, why do I have ten emails asking me for dates?

**Courfeyrac: **Eponine…

**Courfeyrac: **What did you do?

* * *

When Les Amis next saw Courfeyrac was at the next AI meeting and he was furious.

"You signed me up for a dating website!"

"We thought all for the best!" Enjolras said, both hands up in surrender.

"For the best!" Courfeyrac thundered and Jehan actually started crying.

"Look, Courf, we're getting really worried about you." Eponine said, standing up. "You haven't been with anyone in forever and that is not like you."

"Maybe I'm trying something new." Courfeyrac said and they looked at him strangely. "OK, do you really want me to tell you?"

"Please, for the love of God, because we are getting really weirded out." Grantaire begged.

Courfeyrac sighed and flopped down in his usual seat. "OK. This is kind of awkward." He said, looking at Gavroche, fifteen-year-old, tall lanky Gavroche, who had dropped in for the meeting instead of attending his afternoon classes at school. "I had chlamydia." He said and there was an uncomfortable long silence that followed as they stared at him. "I didn't want to tell you guys because I didn't know what your reaction was going to be and I didn't want anyone," he paused to look pointedly at Joly, "freaking out. I had it before and I took an antibiotic and it went away for a little while but then it came back and the doctor put me on a week-long course of antibiotics and it's gone for good now, I had a check-up and was given the all-clear, but it really scared me and so I decided not to touch a girl again for a little while." He sighed with a little laugh. "Also, asking a girl if they have an STI just before having sex is not the best aphrodisiac."

"Wow." Grantaire said before looking at Gavroche. "Consider this a lesson kid."

"Seriously, Gav." Courfeyrac said, "It isn't worth it. Remember, no balloon, no party."

"Don't be silly, wrap your willy." Combeferre nodded wisely.

"Don't make a mistake, muzzle your snake." Feuilly suggested.

"If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket." Grantaire said and Gavroche squirmed.

"OK, OK, I get it!" He said. "While your undressing Venus, dress up your penis. Can we stop talking about it now?"

* * *

**Courfeyrac: **Thanks for being so understanding today. Hope Gav isn't grossed out too much.

**Eponine: **We may have scarred him for life but at least I know that if he does have sex, he's going to be safe.

**Eponine: **Good to know that you're OK.

**Courfeyrac: **Ep, I just got another dating website email.

**Courfeyrac: **Dude, I think she's a stalker.

**Courfeyrac: **EPONINE SHE WON'T STOP EMAILING ME WHAT DO I DO

**Courfeyrac: **I'll give you guys my new email address tomorrow.


End file.
